How to find yourself
What does it mean to find yourself?
You have heard about finding yourself in a lot of movies, books, and self-help literature. It is the stock phrase you might expect to hear from a wise mentor leading you on a spiritual journey.
This phrase is also quite vague and not exactly helpful. You might get a slight idea of what how to find yourself could represent. But to say you should find yourself is very often vague. What should you discover? How to find yourself if you don’t know what it means?
The first thing to be said for this concept is that finding yourself is not a journey with a set goal. Rather, it is an ever-ongoing process that takes you to explore new things about yourself. It is a journey of exploring everything that you are. You can think of you life as a quest. A main component of this quest is to get to know yourself. Except there is no end point to it. Rather, it is like a series of more expansive layers are revealed when you make how to find yourself a focus. You can probe a few items to begin the process by thinking about:
- Your identity?
- What are your problems?
- Do you have a dark side?
- Have you felt an inner calling that you have ignored?
These questions don’t have easy answers and some of these answers are going to shift as you grow. But you will receive answers along the way. It is like retrieving more and more pieces of your true self. How to find yourself has more to do with creating yourself rather than having something handed to you externally. It is an intimate journey taking place internally within the infinite imagination.
Why should you try to find yourself?
Before getting into more on how to find yourself, something worth noting is whether this is a journey you should undergo at all. Should you strive to find out what makes you tick?Align with deep, purposeful desires? Make radical changes?
Finding yourself involves a lot of difficult situations. There are growing pains at a times.
But such an endeavor also brings a lot of advantages. Finding yourself allows you to live a life aligned with your own identity, values, and ideas. Your confidence level increases when you live from inner strength rather than following other people’s ideas for how you should live.
It steers you closer to the things that truly matter to you and away from those that matter less. It helps you be true to your own self, flawed as it may be (and we all are to various degrees), rather than living a life devoid of meaning.
We will talk a little later about the other aspects of finding yourself related to self-love and self-compassion.
How to find yourself and walk your own powerful path?
This is a question with no universal answers, but there are some ways to move the process along. First of all, to find yourself you need to spend time with yourself. Reflection time, alone time a workout, read, listen to music, take a walk through the woods, etc. whatever suits you best. Many people distract themselves so much with work for example that they never even get to this question in any deep manner.
Try making quiet time part of your routine, Allow yourself just to be alone with no distractions (or a pleasant one like music). Think about what happens to you when you are alone. Is it upsetting? Are you easily bored in your company? Do you start getting anxious? Allow yourself alone time and quiet time to spend in the company of you and see what happens within you. Pay attention.
Another important part of the journey is to listen to yourself
You are important. Therefore, your wants and desires are important. You do not have to bur them.
Are you tired? Is there something you enjoy? Does the person you are with make you happy? Why are you frustrated? Often, our circumstances teach us to ignore the signals from our bodies and our emotions.
If we are angry, we have to suppress it and be polite. If we are tired, we still need to smile and finish our work shifts. While sometimes we do need to go along with the circumstances, ignoring our emotions and sensations means that we have a harder time connecting with our needs, wants, and issues in other situations. Listen to your body and your emotions. Our cultural teaching has made as all to various degrees phonies, actors and role players. However, in order to find yourself need to probe deeper and this requires being honest with yourself.
Therapy. Imagination, Meditation
In addition to the above, there are special practices that can put you more in touch with yourself. First of all, there are artistic practices. Drawing, writing, sculpting, dancing, or singing, among many others, can be ways to get more in touch with yourself and discover surprising aspects of your own identity and preferences. For example, when you do free writing, writing whatever comes to mind without judgment or question, you might start writing something that you did not realize or were not thinking about. Art is about self-expression, so it is a path to discovering more about yourself.
You can also use your imagination in pro-active powerful ways by incorporating imagination exercises into your life. This goes beyond things like law o attraction, creative visualization, affirmations, and other methods. I create and use these exercises myself and with my clients. They help connect you with your creative power. And they also help you (among other things) make the unconscious conscious.
There are also practices like meditation. You can immerse yourself deeper into you own mind with these practices. They are meant to clear your head and focus your mind on being aware of the present and of your own being. Through practices like meditation or mindfulness, you might be able to find new things about your mind and get closer to your true self.
There are other processes that help you find yourself. There can be therapy or counseling that can help you find what is it that you truly want and need rather than what you were told to want and need. A therapeutic process usually involves a real journey of self-discovery.
Many people ask themselves: why do I hate myself? Why can’t I just love me? But the truth is that one of the first steps to loving yourself is knowing yourself. You can’t love a stranger, and, when we hate ourselves, we often spend a lot of time hearing bad things about ourselves from others. We might believe the labels others give us: lazy, dumb, selfish. But if we got to know ourselves, we could see that these labels are not true. They do not reflect who we truly are. Spirituality can also help in this area because it expands your identity in loving ways.
When you first ask yourself how to find yourself, you are also asking whether you can find something worth loving too.
A journey to find yourself is often a journey to loving yourself, meaning that it will help you become more familiar with who you are and discover some amazing things that will help you feel more comfortable being who you are.
When people ask: why do I hate myself, they often don’t recognize the things they have that are worth loving. While others might see them, they are blind towards them. A journey of self-discovery can help you realize many things about yourself. When you learn more about yourself, you can begin to see yourself in a whole new light.
Another important aspect associated with finding yourself is discovering how to forgive yourself. We all have made mistakes, but for many people, those mistakes are haunting. We think about them and are unable to forgive ourselves, even if the mistakes were not catastrophic. Everyone has an inner critic. Sometimes the inner critique can be very harsh.
When you find yourself, you might recognize your motivations for your mistakes. You might see your good intentions and the reasons behind those things that you did. Knowing yourself can make it easier for you to forgive yourself.
So, when you wonder about how to forgive yourself, you should know that self-discovery is an important part of the process. When you get to know yourself better, you can find you can understand better why you did something and find it in you to forgive yourself. Once again spiritual practice can be applied as it may aid greatly in forgiving yourself.
Your journey of wonder continues….
A journey of how to find yourself is not like a trip to the grocery store when you go in search of frozen pizza and come back with frozen pizza. It’s not a trip with a fixed destination, a fixed goal, and a fixed set of steps. Rather, it is a highly personal process that can last a lifetime because you will change and grow. When you ask how to find yourself, you are truly beginning a lifelong process of self-discovery that can lead to some amazing exploration, reflection, and growth.
How to find yourself? Through different processes and stages. You can work first on listening to yourself and trying to spend time in your own company. You might seek out practices like meditation or therapy to help you along. Art can also be a way of getting to know yourself better. Imagination exercises can work real magic into you life.
The journey of finding yourself is a journey towards loving yourself. You can not love a stranger. The better you know and understand yourself, the more likely it becomes you will be able to feel self-love. Ultimately, how to find yourself can be viewed as a quest. Larger, more expansive parts of you are waiting to be found.
A future you that is aligned with deep desires. A you with a strong sense of purpose, direction, variety, meaning and fulfillment. Although these are inner states that are hard to measure they are priceless.